tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14289324006788783192024-03-21T18:19:07.424-07:00ALICIA KING Author & SpeakerAlicia writes books about grief support. Collections of what to do and say when you don't know where to start. Full of beautiful ways to honor someone's memory or reach out to someone who is suffering a loss. Available in bookstores everywhere, or online at Amazon.com.Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-48266795150899067772013-11-15T17:28:00.000-08:002013-11-15T17:28:00.507-08:00It All Matters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's as simple as this- if you're thinking about doing something to celebrate someone's life, it's probably a good idea. <br />
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A common fear among most people after a death is that the person they loved will be forgotten. By paying tribute in some way, you're reassuring them this isn't true, and that matters!Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-31507353516224335142013-11-07T07:11:00.000-08:002013-11-07T11:12:33.547-08:00Keeping the Faith Vs. Accepting Reality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I always tell my kids, "Trust your gut." When it makes sense, and when it doesn't. When it's easy, and when it's not. If you feel threatened, unsafe, pushed in one direction, suspicious of someone/something, or convinced of something, even when current conditions indicate otherwise- trust your gut. <br />
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I find myself repeating this mantra to myself these days. <br />
<br />
I applied to be a workshop presenter for a 2014 program. It's being held in a place I've dreamed of visiting for years. Those who were approved were to receive contracts last month, and those who did not got rejection letters. I received neither.<br />
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Here's the gut check- I have been convinced I would be booked by this program from the start. Don't confuse this with me feeling I <i>should</i> be booked, or was somehow better than anyone else who submitted proposals. I simply felt it was to be. <br />
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This gut feeling is now at odds with reality, since we are past the approval date. By a couple weeks. You see, I still feel this assurance that I will be participating. It's a visual thing, reminiscent of a game show I played years ago. I can see myself there. No, seriously.<br />
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I auditioned for Who Wants to be a Millionaire in 2001. From the start, I inexplicably knew I would be on the show. I lined up with hundreds of strangers the night before they held auditions in Nashville. I made it through the initial stages, then was told we would hear soon if we were chosen to appear on an upcoming show. Soon after this, however, Regis left the show and the set went dark. A year went by before I got "the call" in 2002. I ended up playing the game, just as I had felt I would. <br />
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So, how long do I check the mail with urgency? At what point do I accept that they're "just not that into me", and try again next year? Maybe my intuition was a year off? I just don't get it. When my radar hits this strongly, it's never been wrong. Is it an age thing? Is my mojo weakening?<br />
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I maintain it's a good rule to trust your gut. I won't temper this directive to my kids simply because of this hiccup. I still believe we are better off when we stay sensitive to these directions and warnings, and I remain hopeful (and possibly unrealistic).<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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<br />Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-35760069716390154842013-10-12T12:59:00.000-07:002013-10-12T14:55:10.396-07:00FREE GIVEAWAY!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just left the <a href="http://www.humanitiestennessee.org/programs/southern-festival-books-celebration-written-word">Southern Festival of Books</a> in Nashville, TN. Wow, what a line-up! C-SPAN doesn't shoot just any old event, people. They were all over this one, though, and it's no mystery why. Host Humanities Tennessee lined up the big names for this, their 25th anniversary.<br />
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Every year I look up the three-day schedule and start scoping out which panels, events and signings I want to hit. There's always overlap, thus conflict, so I have to choose between missing out or being "that person" who tries to slink out of the room halfway through to try and double up. However, today it all lined up magically, so I was able to navigate the day pretty smoothly.<br />
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I always end up meeting the nicest people at the festival. Today was no different. At <a href="http://katybutler.com/">Katy Butler</a>'s (fascinating) talk, I met Karen from South Dakota. Karen has been coming every year since 2002. She has friends from all over the country she's met here who also make the pilgrimage and has, "the time of my life for 2 1/2 days every year in Nashville." <br />
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There's something for everyone, and it's FREE!<br />
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Also free were the books I was given. Advance copies distributed for review. Check out the picture and take a look. See anything you like? Well, if you have liked my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/HealingThe-Essential-Guide-to-Helping-Others-Overcome-Grief-and-Loss/175438402499319?ref=hl">facebook</a> for HEALING and follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/thegrieflady">twitter</a> (@thegrieflady), take your pick and I'll have it in the mail to you this week. My way of spreading the book love and saying thank you. <br />
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P.S. Re: the recent post about whether or not to apply to present a workshop at the spiritual community? Well, I submitted my proposal, and should hear this week. Stay tuned......Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-27176193050889796412013-05-20T08:44:00.001-07:002013-05-20T08:44:48.403-07:00Shameless Plea For Feedback/Advice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Are you ever faced with a decision with no obvious choice? One that propels you into a vortex of self-doubt? A roller coaster of second-guessing? In other words, are you human?<br />
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I have been speaking to various groups about grief for awhile now. I feel it's where I belong. I have met some of the most remarkable survivors at these events, and always learn more than I teach. The topics are fairly consistent- healing, hope, how to help those who are grieving, what helps/what hurts, etc. <br />
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Well, here comes the fork in the road. There's an opportunity to present a grief workshop at a spiritualist community next year. They feature psychic mediums, holistic healing, meditation, etc. Applications need to be submitted soon, though, thus my decision. I have heard from many, many families about the comfort they have felt through these events. While I have long been drawn to this type of thing, I realize there are those who object. Strongly. I happen to be a Christian who believes psychics pose no threat to my faith. I feel the source of all love is God, therefore the comfort that comes from a healing reading is from Him. This is why I have been working on my application for a workshop. <br />
<br />
Until.........<br />
<br />
The grief community is somewhat small, and I recently received a cautionary email from another grief support worker warning me about possible consequences of participating in the aforementioned community's activities. The danger, in a nutshell? Diminished credibility.<br />
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My knee-jerk reaction is, "That's ridiculous! I don't care what anyone else thinks! (cue toddler voice) I do what I want!" <br />
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Then I step back and think, and re-think, and over-think-<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Would I be identified with a niche that is only a small part of my beliefs?</li>
<li>Should I pass on anything remotely controversial? </li>
<li>Where do I draw the line?</li>
<li>Does anyone really care?</li>
<li>Could this harm book sales?</li>
<li>What would my publisher say?</li>
<li>Does it matter?</li>
<li>Might this be the best move I could make?</li>
<li>Might this be the worst move I could make?</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<i>Am I facing my own Dixie Chicks moment?!</i><br />
<br />
I appreciate the good intentions of the woman who warned me about the potential fall-out from aligning myself with this type of activity. I also feel the benefits of reaching out to attendees there and offering words of hope and paths to healing outweigh any potential damage to my reputation, such as it is. <br />
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I would be very interested in what you have to say about this. Please comment freely, anonymously if necessary, and tell me what you think. <br />
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Thank you!<br />
<br />
<br />Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-16448359282458625032012-12-19T09:53:00.003-08:002012-12-19T09:53:54.710-08:00Hugs For the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My first attempt at vlogging, because you don't say no to <a href="http://mamamaryshow.com/">Mama Mary</a>:) This is part of Hugs For the Holidays, aimed at providing support for anyone grieving their way through this very festive time of year. It can be so hard, and I love that Mary and Jessica from <a href="http://fourplusanangel.com/">Four Plus an Angel</a> created this <a href="http://sandiegomomma.com/">opportunity</a> for us to reach out and "hug" each other this way.<br />
<br />Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-13284499025758430462012-12-13T08:34:00.002-08:002012-12-13T08:34:40.581-08:00Radio Interview Tonight!<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; width: 600px;"><tbody>
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<span style="color: white;"><b>This Week on D-Talks Radio</b></span><span style="color: #ffec99;"> </span></div>
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<strong>Alicia King<br />on<br />GRIEF & HEALING DURING THE HOLIDAYS</strong></div>
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<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001xMliDYK-a4g1ktfZt9sM0FUS56_BQugqp_8BcE2a00NFd1284Zk7u0R2YhRcGsX-bDlkHQSfKGpgIMWN4nlXUM_btyGGLQVd4eRNx3FnBw6MnxGrJvt8JDjMV1DfIyxKp4S0MaLWvrZ4jKAc9Pi9GSkIxHdooB9Z" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: #000075; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank"> <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1355416227_0">Alicia King</span></a>, Author of <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001xMliDYK-a4iX9QsUaB4Waa1NhgwYOZZb_24pbNjeui2HX9EBlkZy5wN8fEdvoVN6X-MkXCgRZm3G-X_OdPOpaDFwvXCqhGkWXIO-QkB1FmGsCrNKdx_gcfKE_11tk73y4IW1kLmBMsuhnVw5k8p0o8UG-M08BiUDmoH7SCTeVdW9e9L8dQUTMrKRJ-AdyhZF" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: #000075; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1355416227_1">Healing: The Essential Guide For Helping Others Overcome Grief and Loss</span></a>, Speaker and leading expert on grief and grief support (aka The Grief Lady) writes and speaks about the dos and don'ts of grief -- what helps someone after a death, and what can unwittingly make it worse. <div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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Alicia joins us to discuss what helps and what hurts when it comes to grief and grief support and what you can do to manage grief during the holidays without guilt or other debilitating emotions.<br /><br /><a class="imgCaptionAnchor" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001xMliDYK-a4iX9QsUaB4Waa1NhgwYOZZb_24pbNjeui2HX9EBlkZy5wN8fEdvoVN6X-MkXCgRZm3G-X_OdPOpaDFwvXCqhGkWXIO-QkB1FmGsCrNKdx_gcfKE_11tk73y4IW1kLmBMsuhnVw5k8p0o8UG-M08BiUDmoH7SCTeVdW9e9L8dQUTMrKRJ-AdyhZF" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="298" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.190" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs137/1108825804332/img/190.jpg" vspace="5" width="206" /></a> </div>
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<span class="RSSBody"><span style="color: black;">Here's the thing about death- it happens to everyone. Here's the thing about grief- someone in your life has grieved before, is grieving now, or will be grieving soon. So, here's the question- will you be ready when it happens? Will you be there for them, prepared and confident enough to reach out, or will you retreat out of fear of saying/doing the wrong thing?</span> <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001xMliDYK-a4iiwu_oVOhvSAE59oekAeQ3hPR1MsCocPJoxgzEJqpPed_aJU6IsfwDs8SpQ2J7GccSJTXTR_9iIzg7hu1UotjxYugZgZpuM0xf2HUcF0gS2tyhp2lsaZG89ZOC_rrV877gxxPV-Jj_rEt2P8R1HKTLm40TQV7F6wJapvgfopHlLPaQ8Y-FQ5KY" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: #000075; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">[continue reading].</a><a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001xMliDYK-a4iiwu_oVOhvSAE59oekAeQ3hPR1MsCocPJoxgzEJqpPed_aJU6IsfwDs8SpQ2J7GccSJTXTR_9iIzg7hu1UotjxYugZgZpuM0xf2HUcF0gS2tyhp2lsaZG89ZOC_rrV877gxxPV-Jj_rEt2P8R1HKTLm40TQV7F6wJapvgfopHlLPaQ8Y-FQ5KY" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: #000075; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">..ยป</a></span></div>
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Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-16214397374397026672012-09-07T06:32:00.001-07:002012-09-07T06:37:05.468-07:00It's InevitableHere's the thing about death- it happens to everyone. Here's the thing about grief- someone in your life has grieved before, is grieving now, or will be grieving soon. So, here's the question- will you be ready when it happens? Will you be there for them, prepared and confident enough to reach out, or will you retreat out of fear of saying/doing the wrong thing? <br />
<br />
This, dear readers, is why HEALING exists. This is why I speak and write about grief. We will all lose someone, we all deserve compassion, and we all need each other.<br />
<br />
The best way to never get good at something is to push it away and not think, read or talk about it. It's awkward to go to someone after a death. I get it! Worse, though, is watching their pain and never acknowledging their loss. Grief is one of those situations where you will either make it worse or make it better. It's that simple.<br />
<br />
This brings me to a recent book signing. (I got to sit beside one of my favorite writers, Myra McLarey, pictured below.) There were about fifteen authors, and we were seated behind tables as people came and discussed our work. That's my favorite part- meeting new people and hearing their stories. <br />
<br />
A woman who manages a large department of a local healthcare company bought a few copies and we spoke a bit about ways to help within the workplace. Just a week later she contacted me to tell me a co-worker (and good friend) committed suicide. She told me the book had been very helpful. We remarked on the timing and we talked awhile about this special man who was deeply missed.<br />
<br />
Until we find a way to prevent death, let's work on being better at supporting those around us as they grieve. Learn how to help, what most people find comforting, and what never to say. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhRiSwLrAECBsdbcSUdaOU1vCTt4yvTZD35yueaDGHc9KjyQIfow3lT57cJQt2l3p13yj_-7rP5IN0xJDSMeyu0fWgVbqK1qpGwN9Iy7yYioWT3SgNJ5V1Xv0uAkmzbqYTEHqIScIgI6Ie/s1600/314891_418374891539001_1720666216_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhRiSwLrAECBsdbcSUdaOU1vCTt4yvTZD35yueaDGHc9KjyQIfow3lT57cJQt2l3p13yj_-7rP5IN0xJDSMeyu0fWgVbqK1qpGwN9Iy7yYioWT3SgNJ5V1Xv0uAkmzbqYTEHqIScIgI6Ie/s320/314891_418374891539001_1720666216_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We can do it together.<br />
<br />Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-33976490964172581402012-08-26T13:06:00.000-07:002012-08-26T16:16:23.373-07:00I'm BaaaaaaccckkkkkYes, I know. It's been awhile. I haven't been gone so much as I've been elsewhere. As in twitter (@thegrieflady) and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/HealingThe-Essential-Guide-to-Helping-Others-Overcome-Grief-and-Loss/175438402499319?ref=ts">facebook</a>.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #777777; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px;"></span>The important (?) thing is, I'm back now. Let's catch up, shall we? Here's just a few of the subjects we've discussed on HEALING's facebook wall-<br />
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<b>DNR tattoos. </b> As in tattooing DO NOT RESUSCITATE on your chest. Forever. Just to be sure.<br />
<br />
<b>Grief Peeves.</b> What you wish people knew or would stop saying after a death.<br />
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<b>Ways to Help.</b> Ideas, suggestions, even links to helpful programs like <a href="http://www.mealtrain.com/">Meal Train</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>Relevant Legislation.</b> Why isn't death of a child included in the FMLA? <a href="http://www.farleykluger.com/">Who's trying</a> to correct this.<br />
<br />
<b>Helpful Sites.</b> Where readers and I find help, like <a href="http://www.heart2soul.com/">this favorite site.</a><br />
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<b>Tributes.</b> Everything from scholarships and trees to the work Erin Runnion is doing in honor of her daughter, Samantha.<br />
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We post memorials as we lose both friends and celebrities. We post pictures of those we have loved, and observe birthdays and other difficult milestones. We share our struggles as well as our triumphs, and support each other along the way. The only rule, as always- no judgement. Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-91088025556643621342012-01-06T15:07:00.000-08:002012-01-06T15:08:59.724-08:00Grief and Healing: What Helps, What Hurts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG90GawYxFOePhjdyLScXD9nK_nCBoWNUYG6rR4e20WZFe5s-J5bIx8Sy9ETLrVPFA6VbeyaXV9Mg8VebXNl8oV3MflZOTjMoRG-cqzn_tttELQSBNYiUyPVBK1dTYIQ0fH4A0huQLAcQS/s1600/Grief+%2526+Healing+flyer.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 309px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG90GawYxFOePhjdyLScXD9nK_nCBoWNUYG6rR4e20WZFe5s-J5bIx8Sy9ETLrVPFA6VbeyaXV9Mg8VebXNl8oV3MflZOTjMoRG-cqzn_tttELQSBNYiUyPVBK1dTYIQ0fH4A0huQLAcQS/s400/Grief+%2526+Healing+flyer.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694659893456920322" /></a>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-14469391716987219482012-01-04T09:00:00.000-08:002012-01-04T09:06:10.410-08:00Grief and Healing: What Helps, What HurtsI will be working with sand artist Dawn Scott at this event Jan. 17th at 7PM at Epworth United Methodist Church in Franklin, TN. I'll discuss how you can be more confident when reaching out to someone who is grieving. Dawn will speak and perform her remarkable sand art. Have you ever seen this done? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJasECgPe48&feature=related">Here's a clip of Joe Castillo</a> to give you an idea how it works.<div><br /></div><div>Caris hospice will be participating, and there will be books and CDs available for purchase.<div><div><br /></div><div>More to come!</div></div></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-65043422029658517902011-12-15T06:40:00.000-08:002011-12-15T07:10:10.811-08:00SO Excited About This!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKaP-GZEAlFlAxcdoh3bLFjuSSLX2zZ57WEMIzjzSaf224HKB7n-v4aSaQkBm4GkmNwRUP88J3CqmmEmyPhWxem1b_jxiDbY9IxqnooH0Uips0R1NWlOI93fsKKL3yDt4tUccQdR_7HTz0/s1600/securedownload-1.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKaP-GZEAlFlAxcdoh3bLFjuSSLX2zZ57WEMIzjzSaf224HKB7n-v4aSaQkBm4GkmNwRUP88J3CqmmEmyPhWxem1b_jxiDbY9IxqnooH0Uips0R1NWlOI93fsKKL3yDt4tUccQdR_7HTz0/s400/securedownload-1.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686372199830707650" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFUSeGn2b9kCZZw3wpaIHgalQxcYpisWHDSNuQECMgziRujAa8KkjxqCOP_lTOGNzZ7DNEke7QW-a_iVyF3bygjOvdBCLN0VRUQNBh3rieXZl_remMsmk7xVnp1A_JUfvKUukFp8zS1CNu/s1600/securedownload.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 159px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFUSeGn2b9kCZZw3wpaIHgalQxcYpisWHDSNuQECMgziRujAa8KkjxqCOP_lTOGNzZ7DNEke7QW-a_iVyF3bygjOvdBCLN0VRUQNBh3rieXZl_remMsmk7xVnp1A_JUfvKUukFp8zS1CNu/s400/securedownload.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686371511745229106" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.heart2soul.com/how-to-be-supportive/the-role-of-a-friend"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZinMmgY-oIrEUq8FCPNMmftmBy5DCK7FgyDAbk_1q3ZHIVFOFqDGV7N4PbMPyD0AixNp6Di_AP3n-UP-iTTiGY2nKEl-W3smDC9kbDDGHo4R353qOw2Ul3F0bGW72wDo7bNBbxBPt0wO1/s400/securedownload.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686368725222865346" /></a><br /><br /><div>Have you had someone close to you die? Were you responsible for handling "the arrangements"? If so, you have my sympathies, truly. It can be a confusing, complicated, exhausting and emotionally torturous process. There are so many different aspects to be addressed, most of which are time-sensitive. You're suddenly charged with dealing with unfamiliar territory- funeral details, obituary, etc., all while grieving.<div><br /></div><div>It's HARD.</div><div><br /></div><div>Karen Zinn watched as friends went through this, and wondered why there wasn't one website that helped families navigate the after-death ordeal. That's when she began to build what I feel is the best single site to help anyone survive a death. <a href="http://www.heart2soul.com/">Heart2Soul</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>When she asked me to be their grief support expert, I immediately accepted. Other contributors include Letitia Baldridge and Peggy Post!</div><div><br /></div><div>I think you'll find a wealth of information and support at <a href="http://www.heart2soul.com/welcome/contributors/alicia-king">Heart2Soul</a>, as well as a place to create an online memorial.</div><div><br /></div><div>Do you love it? Are we missing something? Did you already know about it? Let me know what you think. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-30259844280222094592011-12-14T07:17:00.000-08:002011-12-14T07:53:19.888-08:00Interviewapalooza!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEits7WNtRMhddlksq57kwSK1D90q-aUC9e4LSj_ZA4wAX-XuKrgLuRKf3igAlPjrStyEmpE0UiYv7Qf1BMEl0YxpYUdr_Fkvop2-5kS-_XmaXS_gQLcJH_a3PPDxScY0uMXFuXvW3RBkWT0/s1600/top-charlie.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 53px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEits7WNtRMhddlksq57kwSK1D90q-aUC9e4LSj_ZA4wAX-XuKrgLuRKf3igAlPjrStyEmpE0UiYv7Qf1BMEl0YxpYUdr_Fkvop2-5kS-_XmaXS_gQLcJH_a3PPDxScY0uMXFuXvW3RBkWT0/s400/top-charlie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686011855849389778" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZbsfwk9BDdNkvAtZIJsIweqKpZa0hr74kpw5jYSjFRy-WNd60duz603ymd9ef0rRHj3-ybVk13O7f3ovFLt_obdp_97ZpKo_TSnsx3NhlP5W3bCSvUqKGFQpC5PZpy2Hmbzy24CEsT7fR/s1600/new_banner.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZbsfwk9BDdNkvAtZIJsIweqKpZa0hr74kpw5jYSjFRy-WNd60duz603ymd9ef0rRHj3-ybVk13O7f3ovFLt_obdp_97ZpKo_TSnsx3NhlP5W3bCSvUqKGFQpC5PZpy2Hmbzy24CEsT7fR/s400/new_banner.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686011410015222930" /></a><br /><div><br /></div>Before this book came out, I wasn't comfortable discussing my mother's death with very many people. I remember calling my sister after my publisher's publicist brought up the subject of promoting the book. Unlike me, my sister has long been open about it, even doing volunteer work in Mom's memory. I asked her how she did it. She told me to just get started, and it would get easier in time. She was right.<div><br /></div><div>The first interview I did was with Maureen Hunter, in Australia. Maureen has built a remarkable grief resource site since the death of her beloved son, Stuart. Somehow, the distance, (and her musical accent), put me at ease. Soon we were chatting like old friends. Having survived that, I felt the concept of speaking about my private nightmare was possible! </div><div><br /></div><div>I want to thank all the talented hosts for having me on their shows. They all told their own grief stories as well. Thanks for letting your listeners in, and for sharing my message of healing and hope.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.connieandsheilatalk.com/2011/11/080-healing-the-essential-guide-to-helping-others-overcome-grief-and-loss-by-alicia-king/http://www.connieandsheilatalk.com/2011/11/080-healing-the-essential-guide-to-helping-others-overcome-grief-and-loss-by-alicia-king/http://www.connieandsheilatalk.com/2011/11/080-healing-the-essential-guide-to-helping-others-overcome-grief-and-loss-by-alicia-king/">Connie and Sheila Talk</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://blog.godsword.net/2011/11/inspirations_0108-generations-adult-orphan-and-grief.html">Inspirations/Generations with Bridgette Mongeon</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://podcasts.sixradiosites.com/knews/kncpodcast.html">Conversations With Charlie Dyer</a> Scroll down to 8/2/11</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://esdeer.com/?s=alicia+king">Maureen Hunter's Stepping Through Grief</a></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-77175917630796075352011-12-13T10:28:00.001-08:002011-12-13T10:36:03.127-08:00Watch This Space<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiUW-KAnxW9Kr0DkicIAq7bZX3ojHKv4g9R-hpQSckN0FjZDaKl3Rf63iuI-RukoBLJnR47xjg3allOg97z0_VD809VAt8PJjH_ht-jULbNlEIoXex8MJDLDBoawCl18AvPdE5QH3tB4Am/s1600/images.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 276px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiUW-KAnxW9Kr0DkicIAq7bZX3ojHKv4g9R-hpQSckN0FjZDaKl3Rf63iuI-RukoBLJnR47xjg3allOg97z0_VD809VAt8PJjH_ht-jULbNlEIoXex8MJDLDBoawCl18AvPdE5QH3tB4Am/s400/images.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5685683545922208274" /></a><br />One of the best parts about writing a book is the people I get to meet. During a recent event, there were two women in the audience who stood out. During the Q&A portion of the presentation, they asked some very insightful questions, and I was glad they stuck around afterward. It wasn't until they asked me to be a guest that I discovered they hosted their own radio show! They are the kind of people who make you feel instantly comfortable, as if you've known each other for years. I'm excited to "introduce" you to Connie and Sheila, as well as a few other show hosts, so stay tuned!<div><br /></div><div>I've done several interviews for HEALING lately, and will post links to four of them right here tomorrow. </div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-33718660053483450962011-10-15T11:21:00.000-07:002011-10-15T11:30:36.657-07:00.....And Security Was NOT Called<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP8iutNHi7TulL_XoD4twlXeW7jf6pyxCSEnZ-K6Xr2U-lf4rAyOPEPhNguJ_bQnVKviO77n7v-5-Iui8kP6dy2Wqa_oM3HNn_hoM4OkOhHDzDJYLGczc5ohJ7kVQf23oiIWsMlmv0xoEB/s1600/downsize-14.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP8iutNHi7TulL_XoD4twlXeW7jf6pyxCSEnZ-K6Xr2U-lf4rAyOPEPhNguJ_bQnVKviO77n7v-5-Iui8kP6dy2Wqa_oM3HNn_hoM4OkOhHDzDJYLGczc5ohJ7kVQf23oiIWsMlmv0xoEB/s400/downsize-14.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663787839088728706" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiS6lZpvZofgKX-RHiZXwBlz537C1jdQFg-WI_irlesQEyRk7CATrXM7Zp-nG_r5qRFe1lhvT5BoiXRObkUTmk04AlyuhtCKABfw-69TnGdqQ5HgxwQd8kjywU038AxdjloVNux89N5qe/s1600/CB.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 325px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiS6lZpvZofgKX-RHiZXwBlz537C1jdQFg-WI_irlesQEyRk7CATrXM7Zp-nG_r5qRFe1lhvT5BoiXRObkUTmk04AlyuhtCKABfw-69TnGdqQ5HgxwQd8kjywU038AxdjloVNux89N5qe/s400/CB.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663787594763852386" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div>Today was Chris Bohjalian's session. He was accessible, brilliant and hilarious. He seemed genuinely grateful for his success, thanking the audience for reading his books. He actually thanked us for reading in general, citing a chilling study showing a decline in reading in this country. He then got a laugh for giving the exception- YA books about vampires.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He took questions at the end. I asked the first one, winning a t-shirt. That's right, I won a t-shirt. This is probably what I will wear with my author badge from this day forward.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Thanks, Chris. You were pressed for time, yet were gracious enough to stay for a signing. Hope to see you next year!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-59781866211143559232011-10-14T04:36:00.000-07:002011-10-14T04:47:08.786-07:00S<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">o........there's something I should tell you about the Southern Festival of Books. It starts today, and while I'm very excited about participating, (Noon in Senate Chambers, signing to follow in the Colonnade), there's another reason for my excitement. An author from Vermont will be there. I need to meet him.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A little background. I am a full-fledged, card carrying Fitzgeraldophile. Not just F. Scott, but Zelda too. Very much Zelda too. Well, despite my strong preference for non-fiction, I found myself in an airport store buying a Chris Bohjalian novel. Why? </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Because he interweaves elements of The Great Gatsby in it.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> I know. I got chills too.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So, cut to this year, reading about the authors who will be here and I see Chris Bohjalian's name. I am both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of meeting him. Here are my top hopes, in no particular order-</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">*Please let me recognize him, so as not to ask him if anyone has seen the great and powerful Bohjalian by mistake.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">*Please, if given the opportunity to meet him, allow me to form words in English that make sense. Not fainting would be good too.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">*Please, if after meeting him I should see him again across the plaza, keep me from yelling, "Hey, Chris!! It's me, your good friend, Alicia!" In other words, please don't let me scare the man.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I'll let you know how it goes. The panel, the signing, and any Bohjalian incidents. Unless of course, there's some sort of court order preventing me form discussing him anymore.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-79493438693386737712011-10-05T07:04:00.000-07:002011-10-05T07:28:19.046-07:00Potpourri For $500, Alex<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Too busy to form sentences. Will hit highlights. So much happening! Excited. Must share. In no particular order:</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1. There is a new website I have to tell you about. This will save so many people from much of the frustration and confusion that follows a death. It will launch in November. It's the ONE place to go, covering everything from how to plan a funeral to travel information for out-of-town relatives, to grief camps for kids, and so much more. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This is an idea whose time has come. Overdue, really. They'll even have space to pay tribute to the person who has died, sharing stories and pictures. I am thrilled to tell you I will be serving as their go-to gal for grief support. They even gave me a title. Wanna hear it? <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">Grief Support Expert.</span> Yep, it's official. I'm an expert. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2. Sick of that picture on the top of this page? Yeah, me too. New one happening tomorrow. Hoping for a good hair day. Stay tuned. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYzmIw590tqNdrlOBJ0jajJYl_WrpTx2BV1y8ow6acLTMarL_dJflmW9Z8PsPuj24kfSzYsqJspxrqncp6-9E8VqY59E6ivH6r_HJUXyEzfjbu1UFPvko-2tZEtWjLtIY4w3eWpUsxnn-O/s400/bad+hair.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660012981823840738" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 194px; height: 260px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">3. Southern Festival of Books info- </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; font-family:Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><div class="field field-session-date-time" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="date-display-single"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div class="field field-session-date-time" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="date-display-single"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Friday Oct 14, </span></span><span class="date-display-start"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">12:00pm</span></span></span><span class="date-display-separator"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> - </span></span></span><span class="date-display-end"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1:00pm</span></span></span></span></div><div class="field field-session-date-time" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="date-display-single"><span class="date-display-end"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Nashville, TN</span></span></span></span></div><div class="field field-terms field-terms-50"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Senate Chambers (Senate Chambers. I mean, really. How cool is that?)</span></span></div></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">All Shall Be Well--Helping Ourselves-And Others--Grieve</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sherry Hoppe and Alicia King</span></span></span></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-80612045454512162542011-09-22T14:13:00.000-07:002011-10-05T07:04:15.066-07:00Southern Festival of Books. Again!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj4NRlK7MuM7QLPwR3lnoVYA5Fm7nGCsLxxXLV6ucA35D_tMslruRjD2aA80g2-U_DnMh95lOt6RciYnb5wTLwU-BbD8bw40y810xmPyFBbEwzcMG_Km-JozbyRIyLdiVnVQ2Xka8CmemV/s1600/readers2.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 111px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj4NRlK7MuM7QLPwR3lnoVYA5Fm7nGCsLxxXLV6ucA35D_tMslruRjD2aA80g2-U_DnMh95lOt6RciYnb5wTLwU-BbD8bw40y810xmPyFBbEwzcMG_Km-JozbyRIyLdiVnVQ2Xka8CmemV/s400/readers2.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5655557213593766626" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpBG5DS6UFMbg0dIershPI-CFgDS-ZA-DDBcZIMowXs_H97HI2qDzlWhzjwiowhh8zmNqYXhRGs6LbOEW6j8V_qPv3OEVKy0c6zqEW6Ryx7Xxiaeofvg1VJutV6-j8PjMblQTfgqdVNus/s1600/readers.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 136px; height: 90px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpBG5DS6UFMbg0dIershPI-CFgDS-ZA-DDBcZIMowXs_H97HI2qDzlWhzjwiowhh8zmNqYXhRGs6LbOEW6j8V_qPv3OEVKy0c6zqEW6Ryx7Xxiaeofvg1VJutV6-j8PjMblQTfgqdVNus/s400/readers.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5655557212943137266" /></a><br />Last year I was thrilled to be signing advance copies at Turner Publishing's booth at the Southern Festival of Books in Nashville. This year I have been invited to be a panelist, followed by a book signing! It starts Friday, Oct. 14th through Sunday, Oct. 16th. My family loves this FREE event. Over 200 authors are coming to speak, sign, and sell their books. Take a look at <a href="http://www.humanitiestennessee.org/programs/southern-festival-books/authors">this year's line-up</a>.<div><br /></div><div>There's so much going on each day. Check out <a href="http://www.humanitiestennessee.org/programs/southern-festival-books/sessions">the schedule here</a> (note that 1st panel:)</div><div>They have live music, children's activities, readings, etc., all in the beautiful setting of Legislative Plaza and the state Capitol Building.</div><div><br /></div><div>Stop by and say hi. I'd love to meet you.<br /><div><br /></div></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-20542382324804205952011-06-22T08:53:00.001-07:002011-06-22T09:09:32.673-07:00Talking to Kids About Death<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm_oVdMX47cfNCOeifHZZTxQYR9LsMheHJwRQgRae4WwmQ5f3nk3rfvSISQxqWReDhlwDgsijUn4dQjPgzefMw0cbFpaTe3hXJb4ixstgA90HEbe4q62wqjOZaxlBCaGFRFz4RtoBZCrup/s1600/IMG_0513.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 321px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm_oVdMX47cfNCOeifHZZTxQYR9LsMheHJwRQgRae4WwmQ5f3nk3rfvSISQxqWReDhlwDgsijUn4dQjPgzefMw0cbFpaTe3hXJb4ixstgA90HEbe4q62wqjOZaxlBCaGFRFz4RtoBZCrup/s400/IMG_0513.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621076708692274866" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div>I have a chapter in HEALING about supporting children and teenagers while grieving. Still, there's so much more to explore on this subject.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Every age presents its own challenges and unique needs. From a toddler's confusion over a missing parent to a high schooler's rebellion after the death of a sibling, the response of a caregiver will change dramatically. It's not just age that dictates how you should deal with their pain, though. As every parent knows, personality determines your approach. From how you break the news to how you observe birthdays, you will likely handle every child differently.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I would like to hear from you now. Tell me about your experiences. Did someone close to you die when you were young? Are you the parent of a grieving child? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">If so, what has/has not worked for you? What do you say or do for other young people now after a death? What you NOT say or do?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Thanks so much. Your honest answers will help others know how to best comfort another child, and to avoid saying those words that haunt you still.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-10835640718722915962011-06-07T09:47:00.000-07:002011-06-09T10:05:00.915-07:00Shout Outs<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0QWCudrXAI4amUOeo7A-dAJQWql0iSfvlV6AiBCLJsZ7dfBHxz2wF1NGuQzL3UZw_HhL_lRnkumEI55QZLhEUx7AM6V4zHqTHAiebJh1iBa5bQQspLr-jMYWeTyD_5M6SDGUViGZpmJGu/s1600/thank-you.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0QWCudrXAI4amUOeo7A-dAJQWql0iSfvlV6AiBCLJsZ7dfBHxz2wF1NGuQzL3UZw_HhL_lRnkumEI55QZLhEUx7AM6V4zHqTHAiebJh1iBa5bQQspLr-jMYWeTyD_5M6SDGUViGZpmJGu/s400/thank-you.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615536245222429218" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>This is going to be a great big<b> thank you</b> post. To many people, for many reasons. I've only done four book signings for <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Essential-Helping-Others-Overcome/dp/1596528168/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2">HEALING</a></span>, and already,<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "> there are so many people I want to recognize. Because of their help, this book is getting out there. Most of them have suffered a loss and understand what it means to grieve. Whatever their reasons for helping, I want to thank them here for their contributions. I appreciate you all!</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "></span><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><div><b>Turner Publishing</b></div><div>Thank you for believing in my project and giving HEALING a chance.</div><div><br /></div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTevf2GQQazFpxO45Zxi9l2y3PpelFd8abxkUvgAYKOcQfKMQFbidl3L3YjhrAR1X0RWC2dlaandI1Vr2kfeW2ENW3vM64kK8vyCPdedgapqmQg68-bK1UVJ8_Z73KsomOCjohFiCWYh48/s400/Caroline.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615523986515027522" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 210px; " /></span>I want to thank everyone at Turner, including <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.bizjournals.com/nashville/print-edition/2011/05/13/new-to-nashville-caroline-garner-crump.html">Caroline </a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9900;">Garner</span></span>, Lauren Kerensky, Frankie Danly, and, of course, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.bookbusinessmag.com/article/todd-bottorff-president-publisher-turner-publishing-discusses-turner-s-recent-investments-optimistically-looks-toward-future/1">Todd Bottorff</a></span> who have done so much to support HEALING. I'm thankful for all your hard work!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Caris Healthcare</b></div><div>I wanted to partner with hospice at every event, so I called Alyson Cutshall of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.carishealthcare.com/">Caris Healthcare</a><a href="http://www.carishealthcare.com/">.</a></span> She went above and beyond to help me reach patients, caregivers, and the communities I visited. Because of her efforts, I was able to meet some remarkable hospice workers. I loved getting to talk with them about the families they served (no names!) and the services they provide. They answered questions at every event, and even signed up a few volunteers!</div><div><br /></div><div>Here I am with the Caris reps at the Knoxville signing at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Healing/Alicia-King/e/9781596528161">Barnes and Noble</a></span>-</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrJ0vLCjiVK3CPGrh4-b4GRc6eam_rN7HqoX39E7-G_YVOl4UsxnNPwThaYLrMCfsloALC1lK3Il_ydmfHL73hq5yoPm_zDjw_vXJaOaoB2MACHqYrPSIdPPCZ6_gMIu5pgV5VzEuDj2x/s400/BnNKnx.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615529100350731298" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 360px; " /></span></div></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><b><a href="http://www.colagrossiwines.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Colagrossi Wines</span></a></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; ">Craig Colagrossi and Michael Cox make amazing wine. Period. The fact they sent wine for HEALING's Franklin signing only made me love it more! It was an incredibly generous gift, and everyone raved about their <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.colagrossiwines.com/">L'inizio</a></span>. Pictured are <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.landmarkbooksellers.com/">Landmark Booksellers</a></span> owners, Joel and Carol Tomlin, myself, and Craig and Beth Colagrossi.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwE2WXLIQpkdBV0_jSqqYH0l1e8_Qiu6Soz8zRVzE4ZSAfolZArVGU7iVVgvH-lgb3MynaLnhMjXSvG8zR3pJzTyRuJt-m6_MaWbO6TsVFYM_NKcFUJxAJKF5ydKjEIwzaNSiIkWzWHfjo/s400/IMAGE95162.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615531948994490082" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 331px; " /></span></span></div><div><b>You</b></div><div><br /></div><div>If you're reading this, then I want to thank you. When I started this book, I knew the odds of getting published were dismal. I was told new writers have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than getting a book deal. I was also told that no one wanted to read about death and grief. Thankfully, I'm too stubborn to listen to reason:) The truth is that those who have dealt with a personal loss or the grief of others DO want to read about it. You sat for interviews, you read the blog, the tweets, the facebook conversations, and you commented often! You bought the books and emailed me about your own pain. You shared your stories with me and with each other, and I thank all of you for your bravery, honesty, and vulnerability. </div><div><br /></div><div>You honored the memories of those who died, and in turn, maybe healed a little yourself. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Thank you.</b></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-60043226123730309452011-05-09T04:50:00.001-07:002011-05-09T04:54:05.792-07:00Signings<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Book signings have been going well. I will post more soon (with never-before-seen pix!:), but didn't want to wait any longer to thank everyone who came out.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I don't want to wait to thank Caris, either. The hospice workers they have sent to EVERY EVENT have been magnificent. Huge thanks to Alyson Cutshall for arranging everything from promotional flyers to who went where. You understood what I was trying to do from the beginning, and I appreciate your help deeply.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Okay, that's all for now, but pictures soon. (Wait til you see the one of my door greeters from Saturday!)</span></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-11306837224165391422011-04-21T08:44:00.000-07:002011-04-21T08:57:20.113-07:00Here It Comes!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZvzN7rUG1EXwBBrUmmwqAWEHj4vFgTOVMCQJDQCwJbsfPurLlDG-F43TG4MoyR4zVb_3xsSzTXNiBOfIfsVRBDaQf4GFeRBtZ-nd1jTrISJslbuPd6JgOByS4erPqPmzabXdYWCvYMSh/s1600/Healing+COVER.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZvzN7rUG1EXwBBrUmmwqAWEHj4vFgTOVMCQJDQCwJbsfPurLlDG-F43TG4MoyR4zVb_3xsSzTXNiBOfIfsVRBDaQf4GFeRBtZ-nd1jTrISJslbuPd6JgOByS4erPqPmzabXdYWCvYMSh/s400/Healing+COVER.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598066053169233170" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Tomorrow is the official release date for Healing, but <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Essential-Helping-Others-Overcome/dp/1596528168/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_2">Amazon has it out today! </a></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Once again, thank you to everyone who graciously sat for an interview for the book. I wish you could all see the messages I get from readers. The book's facebook page (you can go there by clicking on the link in the sidebar to the right.) is starting to draw people in who were looking for a place to discuss their grief experiences. Every day I get at least one direct message from someone about their story. For some, the death is recent and they're still in that stunned phase. For others, like the mother of a young, beautiful dancer in her early 20s, it's been a few years and they tell me of the work done in their honor.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Each one is precious and reminds me why I started this in the first place.</span></div><div><br /></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-65734686900382410692011-04-06T08:21:00.000-07:002011-04-06T08:27:36.795-07:00Book Signings!<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">Upcoming Book Signing Events-</span></span></b></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span></p></div><div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:sans-serif, 'new york', times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">4/28 Knoxville, TN </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> Barnes and Noble </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">4-6PM</span></span></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">4/30 Pigeon Forge, TN </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> Book Warehouse </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">2PM</span></span></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">5/6 Franklin, TN </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> Landmark Booksellers </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">5:30PM</span></span></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">5/7 Murfreesboro, TN </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> Hastings </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">2PM</span></span></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> </span></span></span></p></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:sans-serif, 'new york', times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:sans-serif, 'new york', times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style="font-family:sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">Come pick up your copy of </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;">Healing: The Essential Guide to Helping Others Overcome Grief and Loss.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"> I'd love to see you! </span></span></span></i></span></p></div></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span style=" ;font-family:sans-serif;color:black;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></i></span></p></div></span>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-12088127345325566622011-04-02T12:22:00.000-07:002011-04-05T08:01:14.756-07:00Everything You Need to Know About Funerals That One Will Tell You<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Recently I was asked to contribute my list of 5 things families should know about funeral planning. I'm sure it won't surprise you to know I told them a "straight list" wasn't really my style. I submitted the following. Let the comments begin!</span></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXT7XfYiEkbaCbSz4ku-ZbpCndxUbbzUZjjO1uiiIW4U5XCGRls15Z4IXM0Iwat_c-RPXYrvAC8pFmZE2JglyBEU4oyvzPWn5AkGi9egi1GkjuirGDZjfeW2ZxnCniC8A9VNpbp8ay-XmX/s1600/DownloadedFile.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 90px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXT7XfYiEkbaCbSz4ku-ZbpCndxUbbzUZjjO1uiiIW4U5XCGRls15Z4IXM0Iwat_c-RPXYrvAC8pFmZE2JglyBEU4oyvzPWn5AkGi9egi1GkjuirGDZjfeW2ZxnCniC8A9VNpbp8ay-XmX/s400/DownloadedFile.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591069962467984178" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">The Five Things No One Tells You About Funeral Planning</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1301772125_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ugly Trut</span></span><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1301772125_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">h</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> #1</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">This may be the worst shopping imaginable, but you are still a consumer. </span></span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Final arrangements can be very expensive. Chances are, you're in no condition to ask many questions, so take someone with you when taking care of business.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ugly Truth #2</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Somebody's About to Say Something Stupid</span></span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Whether it's an acquaintance, friend, or even a family member, someone will say a very wrong thing. Considering the awkwardness most of us feel when approaching the grieving family, we shouldn't be surprised when emotional panic comes out in a wild faux pas. The important thing for you to know is the best reaction is no reaction. They'll be replaying the scene in their mind and kicking themselves for years to come, so why bother? Walk away.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ugly Truth #3</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Houses Are Burglarized During Funerals</span></span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I know, it's shocking, but it's true. These animals scan the newspaper for funeral announcements, then google the family's address(es) and get to work. The easy fix? Have someone stay behind during the service. Trust me when I tell you there is someone who desperately wants to help you but is freaked out by funerals. Having them house-sit will make you both feel better.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ugly Truth #4</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">The Obituary is Not a Report Card</span></span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">If someone has strong opinions about writing the obituary, let them do it. Make sure the name of the deceased is spelled correctly, then step aside. When it comes to survivors, don't worry about being listed first, last, or not at all. Nothing that is written can change your relationship with the person who has died. Don't let this become a battle. It's not worth fighting.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ugly Truth #5</span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Someone Will Let You Down</span></span></b></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There will be someone who loves you very much, but will not attend the service, send flowers, a card, or even call. This doesn't mean they don't care about you or the person who died. It usually means they are either paralyzed with fear over saying the wrong thing, or some past experience has made them unable to handle death in general. It's only natural to be hurt by this apparent abandonment, but a forgiving heart will serve you both. Take comfort in those who are able to support you, and know you're not alone.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(221, 119, 0); line-height: 18px; font-family:verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:small;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sorry-Your-Loss-People-Grieving/dp/1596527471/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1">Click here to purchase online</a></span></div><div><br /></div></span></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-73390769542422638862011-02-28T08:15:00.000-08:002011-02-28T09:09:59.252-08:00Holding On, Letting Go<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv8u93oISOt1fH8QLey-bBW1P9KQboyW-pmoaltYnXqfdw9FZI0XNki2Qzls5VCR0mBJDpw9VebqQ9S5g7cfCvIAyYv6MOoDPEUCjbLHn_-sO0FifKfOrCCLSHb7XSmwvG108yXDRobl10/s1600/Prhib08Fr.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv8u93oISOt1fH8QLey-bBW1P9KQboyW-pmoaltYnXqfdw9FZI0XNki2Qzls5VCR0mBJDpw9VebqQ9S5g7cfCvIAyYv6MOoDPEUCjbLHn_-sO0FifKfOrCCLSHb7XSmwvG108yXDRobl10/s400/Prhib08Fr.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578788705532147394" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You can't take it with you. This means it's all left behind for someone to manage. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">When someone dies, it generally goes one of two ways- either there are surviving family members living in the home, or someone has a full house to empty. This can be a herculean task. It's not just a physically demanding job. It's an emotional minefield. Everything you touch is a reminder of the person who has died. It can be overwhelming to deal with your grief while tending to the business of death. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Notify friends and family, call the insurance agent, get the death certificate, plan the funeral, etc., etc., and then face reality. You will have to dismantle their environment. Their house is not a shrine. It has to be sorted through. This means moving their glasses from where they were left by the bed. Finding a new home for their pet. Disposing of their medications. Soon, it no longer smells like them. You stop listening for their car in the driveway. You remove the tape from their answering machine because hearing their voice on the greeting is more than you can take. It's no longer their house. It's your job.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Now you must make the same decision for every single item in the place- to keep, or not to keep? My father died as I was getting ready to move 2,000 miles away. This meant I had a short time to deal with two houses. Ultimately, I whittled my father's belongings down to 10 boxes, 2 crates and one large trunk full of letters, pictures, and books. I'd ship it all to our new home and deal with it there. Well, that was almost ten years ago and I still haven't finished. In fact, I've barely started.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Without the deadline looming overhead, I guess I've found it easier to procrastinate than finish. To make it even more complicated, much of what I saved belonged to my father's grandparents. It's like a time capsule from Portland, Oregon, circa 1900. After one aborted mission to donate much of it to the Oregon Historical Society, I once again packed it up and vowed to "get it done" another day.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That day has arrived. To begin, I am separating personal items from historical items. This means keeping certain letters and pictures and ebaying the rest. Simple, right? Not so much. Let me tell ya, it's one big gray area. Even when I do determine which is which, it still presents certain challenges. For instance, last week I put a postcard from 1907 on ebay with a starting bid of $5. The next day I noticed another seller with the same card had his up for $150. Sigh. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am DETERMINED not to give up again, though. I remind myself that nothing is to be gained by hanging onto all of this. It doesn't prove how much I loved my dad, it's not a sign of my loyalty or respect, and it doesn't guarantee my children will appreciate it one day, either. I keep in mind the risks of water damage, fire, and theft. Nope, holding on is not a good plan. I renew my resolve to showcase the most meaningful pieces and sell or donate the rest. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It's not easy, but I know it needs to be done. After all, if I don't, my kids will simply take my place in this dilemma.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">What have you kept? What was hardest for you to give up? What advice do you have for others in this situation right now? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428932400678878319.post-83171363486704180442011-02-10T07:41:00.000-08:002011-02-10T08:02:52.421-08:00Dad, Valentine's Day and Family Lessons<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiswejEWj3w2E5sHalzp6IB4tWCGLzKqrjxD392R_lNGpUW1YVG1uzuu1WPaooy4bMSBkyi7Nwh07CRV4G-289Jgj5JPA_DeQW0W_-e3_pDbgMH9fKYarCREB4cqEG0JysIpTvaNyKziRs4/s1600/Val+inside.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 272px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiswejEWj3w2E5sHalzp6IB4tWCGLzKqrjxD392R_lNGpUW1YVG1uzuu1WPaooy4bMSBkyi7Nwh07CRV4G-289Jgj5JPA_DeQW0W_-e3_pDbgMH9fKYarCREB4cqEG0JysIpTvaNyKziRs4/s400/Val+inside.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572088819725934210" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFF8MIEKDVe-ymiAIS0ccQTSNfh2Zk6W3KHfCStp9-TmQaE_wCe38O7oeMYTmYS_Mql33C5_Td5MbaNGBzqnp-xTs9e6PWRZmN2Iu8d9ubR9JTwsdJqDz9BifKC_GP6XCyBewZvEbHMSOT/s1600/Val+front.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 286px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFF8MIEKDVe-ymiAIS0ccQTSNfh2Zk6W3KHfCStp9-TmQaE_wCe38O7oeMYTmYS_Mql33C5_Td5MbaNGBzqnp-xTs9e6PWRZmN2Iu8d9ubR9JTwsdJqDz9BifKC_GP6XCyBewZvEbHMSOT/s400/Val+front.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572088815761644866" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9weKlgLBXqhzozNTexM4q081KHqg1ymOdydhk7W6NsSECloH1jJSw7kzYuwrQEy2srAWlAB5D0LmIH4JAnz06ygdGu8RWECVpZQFjJ1mDBzrQR-WryX6FQcx2ghj7cJ7IDhyphenhyphenSavMzAMN/s1600/Dad+wdg+border.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 143px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9weKlgLBXqhzozNTexM4q081KHqg1ymOdydhk7W6NsSECloH1jJSw7kzYuwrQEy2srAWlAB5D0LmIH4JAnz06ygdGu8RWECVpZQFjJ1mDBzrQR-WryX6FQcx2ghj7cJ7IDhyphenhyphenSavMzAMN/s400/Dad+wdg+border.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572087874030603314" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5BffUSODbiYIQa_lb_2IsqSqYmJal82CRbPN6uwGGAqonqszvjIPu2-4bbMrf6b99PJxIZit_z9OJVbldYqSz7hfEQvV5dn_Vt_HQI65K-iCAC77QulbRcIHBHfombDGGabIsinEjdheT/s1600/Dad+border.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 143px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5BffUSODbiYIQa_lb_2IsqSqYmJal82CRbPN6uwGGAqonqszvjIPu2-4bbMrf6b99PJxIZit_z9OJVbldYqSz7hfEQvV5dn_Vt_HQI65K-iCAC77QulbRcIHBHfombDGGabIsinEjdheT/s400/Dad+border.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572087874269234802" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:times, serif;"><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Daddy's Girl</span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">I admit it. I was always a daddy's girl. Don't get me wrong. I was very close to my mom, too. I was lucky. I had two loving, involved parents. Still, my dad and I were tight. When my parents split, I couldn't bear to see him alone, so I left our cushy family home and slept on the lumpy couch of his rental house. I sought his approval and was always thrilled to see him in the audience of a school play or the sidelines of a little league game. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">My dad always bought sentimental </span><span><span><span><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1295959329_7"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1295966645_3"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296067251_3"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296080814_3"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296084282_4"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296171393_3"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296501848_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Valentine's Day cards</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> for my mom, sister and me. The serious, mushy kind. I remember one year his girlfriend bought funny cards for them both to sign. I eventually worked up the nerve to tell him I missed the old ones. He smiled and said he liked those better too, and went back to them after that.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">I could always count on my dad to be my biggest fan. He encouraged my love of cooking, eating anything I made. No matter how it turned out, he always claimed it was the best he had ever tasted. Over the years, I sang in a few bands. My dad saw me perform with all but one of them, often driving for hours to catch a show. Once I began writing music seriously, he would listen carefully to every demo. Without fail, he would predict, "Now, THAT'S a hit!"</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">It was a good life, knowing my dad would always support my dreams, celebrate my successes, and be my safe harbor no matter what.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">You know what happens next, though. One night, a few hours after calling just to say hi, he died. No warning. No chance to say goodbye. After a full day's work, he simply went home, got into bed and died. </span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">That was ten years ago, almost to the day. I'm not going to tell you there's no more sadness. There will always be tears to fight back when I see father-daughter Valentine's Day cards. I still catch myself wondering what he would have thought of something I'm doing, but I try and honor him in ways he would have liked. I celebrate his memory with my husband and children, whom he loved deeply. I pass down the lessons he taught me. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">My mother died ten years before him. After months of tearful calls from me, he told me something I'll never forget. He said his own mother had shared these words after his beloved grandmother died. She explained he was still Grandma's special boy, but told him, "Life is for the living." </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:serif;"> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Life is for the living? This stopped me cold. Why, after a lifetime of constant encouragement and love, would he say something so heartless to me? I didn't understand at the time. It was too soon, perhaps, to accept the gift. He was right, of course. What sounded void of that encouragement and love I'd come to expect was actually full of both. He was putting me back on track. Later I thanked him and we had a beautiful talk about losing our mothers. I was struck at both the depth of his years-old grief as well as his ability to live fully in spite of it. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">While going through his things, I found a Valentine he made for his mother when he was five. It was serious and mushy. She saved it, he saved it, and now I save it. Like the Valentine, her lessons are still in the family.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "> </p></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Life is for the living, I am still Daddy's girl, and Valentines should be mushy. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="serif" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><br /></p></div></span>Alicia Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07982263115260422701noreply@blogger.com4