Sunday, August 26, 2012

I'm Baaaaaaccckkkkk

Yes, I know.  It's been awhile.  I haven't been gone so much as I've been elsewhere.  As in twitter (@thegrieflady) and facebook.

The important (?) thing is, I'm back now.    Let's catch up, shall we?  Here's just a few of the subjects we've discussed on HEALING's facebook wall-

DNR tattoos.  As in tattooing DO NOT RESUSCITATE on your chest.  Forever.  Just to be sure.

Grief Peeves.  What you wish people knew or would stop saying after a death.

Ways to Help.  Ideas, suggestions, even links to helpful programs like Meal Train.

Relevant Legislation.  Why isn't death of a child included in the FMLA? Who's trying to correct this.

Helpful Sites.  Where readers and I find help, like this favorite site.

Tributes.  Everything from scholarships and trees to the work Erin Runnion is doing in honor of her daughter, Samantha.

We post memorials as we lose both friends and celebrities.  We post pictures of those we have loved, and observe birthdays and other difficult milestones. We share our struggles as well as our triumphs, and support each other along the way.  The only rule, as always- no judgement.


  1. I'm so happy to see you are back! I have been following you on Facebook, and inspired by your kind words and unique point of view! There are very few resources like yours and I'm so glad you are here for us!

  2. Thanks, Karen! I appreciate that more than you know. Thanks for being part of the solution- the more we talk honestly about grief, the better we become at supporting those who need us. Glad you're here!

  3. Those tributes are so important! I think my sister and her husband have really appreciated having a tangible way to show their love for their lost son by visiting his tree at the nearby arboretum. It's amazing how many different ways people have honored their loved ones.

    And thank you so much for highlighting that glaring FMLA oversight! I know addressing the death of a child isn't a sexy topic for legislators to spend time on, so constituent pressure is needed to get their attention!

  4. Thanks, Niki. Is there anything a parent wouldn't do for their child? From planting trees to changing laws, it's incredible what parents accomplish in their child's memory.

  5. Can you give me any advice on how to handle a situation where a friend has been terminally diagnosed? He was given anywhere from 3 months to a year and I'm just not sure what I can say to be helpful or uplifting.

  6. Antoinette- I'm sorry to hear about your friend. There are many types of grief, and they don't all follow a death. Anticipatory grief is what is experienced before a death when you have reason to believe it is unavoidable. You can help by being available to your friend. Many will be afraid to talk about it. Be a safe place for them to express their feelings. By listening and acknowledging the situation, you will be giving them what they need from you right now. I hope your friends will be there for you, too, as you say goodbye.


When someone dies, (other than attending the service), I do this for the family-