Monday, May 20, 2013

Shameless Plea For Feedback/Advice

Are you ever faced with a decision with no obvious choice?  One that propels you into a vortex of self-doubt?  A roller coaster of second-guessing?  In other words, are you human?

I have been speaking to various groups about grief for awhile now.  I feel it's where I belong.  I have met some of the most remarkable survivors at these events, and always learn more than I teach.  The topics are fairly consistent- healing, hope, how to help those who are grieving, what helps/what hurts, etc.

Well, here comes the fork in the road.  There's an opportunity to present a grief workshop at a spiritualist community next year.  They feature psychic mediums, holistic healing, meditation, etc. Applications need to be submitted soon, though, thus my decision.  I have heard from many, many families about the comfort they have felt through these events. While I have long been drawn to this type of thing, I realize there are those who object.  Strongly.  I happen to be a Christian who believes psychics pose no threat to my faith.  I feel the source of all love is God, therefore the comfort that comes from a healing reading is from Him.  This is why I have been working on my application for a workshop.


The grief community is somewhat small, and I recently received a cautionary email from another grief support worker warning me about possible consequences of participating in the aforementioned community's activities.  The danger, in a nutshell?  Diminished credibility.

My knee-jerk reaction is, "That's ridiculous!  I don't care what anyone else thinks!  (cue toddler voice) I do what I want!"

Then I step back and think, and re-think, and over-think-

  • Would I be identified with a niche that is only a small part of my beliefs?
  • Should I pass on anything remotely controversial?  
  • Where do I draw the line?
  • Does anyone really care?
  • Could this harm book sales?
  • What would my publisher say?
  • Does it matter?
  • Might this be the best move I could make?
  • Might this be the worst move I could make?

Am I facing my own Dixie Chicks moment?!

I appreciate the good intentions of the woman who warned me about the potential fall-out from aligning myself with this type of activity.  I also feel the benefits of reaching out to attendees there and offering words of hope and paths to healing outweigh any potential damage to my reputation, such as it is.

I would be very interested in what you have to say about this.  Please comment freely, anonymously if necessary, and tell me what you think.

Thank you!


  1. Hello Alica, I understand your difficult choice. Society often views us to be who we are based on the people we associate ourselves with. I believe that this has some truth to it but indeed does not give a complete picture. We encounter people on a daily basis who hold beliefs different than our own, does this mean we are like that person? I do not think so. We are individually made and because we are all unique with genetic make up unlike any other we cannot be 'like' someone simply because we are attending a workshop. Yes, like minded people may be gathered there but there are also people who wish to expand thier knowledge of this journey called life that we are on. Shouldn't we feel confident in our desire to learn? What we take away from our experiences and how we choose to utilize our newly gained knowledge defines us much more than the people we are sitting next to. As you know people experience grief so differently and by you attending this workshop you may potentially be helping someone by speaking to their heart and their needs. I would encourage you to attend.

  2. Thank you, Ruby. I agree with everything you wrote. I have gotten calls and PMs today from various viewpoints. I appreciate them all, truly, and feel compelled to submit my application. They get far more than they can approve, so my expectations are.....realistic :)

    Thanks again!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.


When someone dies, (other than attending the service), I do this for the family-