Friday, February 5, 2010

....and there you have it

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison

I wanted to know if others were hearing the same things as I . (It was meant to be. Time heals. I know just how you feel. The exact same thing happened to me. It's better this way.) Well-intended doesn't always mean well-received.

I wanted to know what helped others so I wouldn't feel so helpless when reaching out to someone who was grieving. I needed a list of ways to help, things to do.

I wanted to hear how you have honored the memories of those you loved who have died. Share ways to pay tribute with others who need this information.

I was curious to see if these experiences were similar among very different people. (They are.) Celebrity, janitor, SAHM or teacher; loss is loss.

I wanted to know if others were as awed by people's capacity for love and sincere sympathy. I will never be able to repay those who held me up when I needed it most. God bless them for their patience, compassion and endless kindness.

I couldn't find such a book, so we're writing it together.

Thank you!


  1. That is such a beautiful sentiment! It helps remind me that not all books are written for monetary gain or to seek fame. Writing is cathartic. I think your book will do more than help others heal!

  2. Ugh. I hate 'the exact same thing happened to me' comment. Thank goodness you are writing this book. You are my hero!

  3. Did I ever tell you about the woman who said to my sister and me at our mom's service? We had to hold each other back as she followed that stellar line with how her 80-something mom had died of a long illness recently. I mean, right, EXACTLY the same thing. Again, well -intended, but......

  4. I think one of the worst is.. "I know how you feel..."
    I know its meant to comfort.. to somehow bond the you two together. But really.. you know how I feel? You have no f-ing way of knowing how I feel!.. then it's almost, well for me NOT almost, it is angering! And yet this nice person is just tyring to be supportive...
    This is a needed book! Thank you.


When someone dies, (other than attending the service), I do this for the family-