Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tell Me Again!

I interviewed Lynn Foster this morning. Her son, Matt, died ten years ago.

She talked about the importance of sharing our memories with the family after a loss. "Even if I've heard the story before", Lynn said, "I want to hear it again."

She has moved on and accomplished a great deal since Matt's death. She's a talented artist. She's writing a book. She also sits on the board of Compassionate Friends, a group for parents who have lost a child.

Still, she finds comfort in hearing, one more time, about the time her popular-senior-Matt took a scared, young freshman under his wing at a party.

She adds, "It's nice when you think of something the person did, but it's wonderful to share it with the family. If you have something good to say, that family needs to hear it."

A year later or ten years later, it's never too late. Did you tell them that story already? It doesn't matter.

They want to hear it again.


  1. That's a great reminder, especially for someone like me whose first instinct is to suppress and ignore anything uncomfortable in an effort to avoid ripping back open a wound. I guess the wound will always be open, and ignoring it won't close it! Next time I see my mom's cousin, Paula, I will remind her again how her father (my Great Uncle) used to call me and say "heeeeeeey good lookin'!" when I answered the phone. That's my favorite memory of him, and I know it would make her smile.

  2. I love it! See that, Lynn? It's working already:)

  3. We should do a LOT of talking... I think everyone should say more, in general, about their beloveds.

  4. I'm struck by how many times people have told me during an interview how much it means just to hear the person's name. That tells me we don't talk about them nearly enough.


When someone dies, (other than attending the service), I do this for the family-